"What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger, Stand A Little Taller"

So far, 2012 has been full of surprises. For one, I actually grew a half inch. I know what you're thinking, "Alyse, you are insanely tall now!" I know this because I had the same thought. Going from 5 feet and 2.5 inches to 5 feet 3 inches is a HUGE step. That puts me in the almost normal height category, right? Insanity. After not growing for 15 years, I suddenly grew. While most of the statements above were made to make you laugh, it is pretty strange. I have to believe that the running and the weight loss have somehow helped me to stand taller or something like that, but, whatever the cause, it's still pretty neat from a mental image perspective. In particular, it is cool that it happened during what has become a very weird period of my journey toward health. On the one hand, I am reinvigorated. On the other hand, I am exhausted. A lot of friends have called to ask about the status of my hip injury and others have asked when we are going to run our next 5K together. I say that I'm exhausted because, while I love the attention and compassion, it is sometimes really tiring to explain what I'm going through. It's not like pretty much anything else I've ever experienced before. It's intense, unpredictable, debilitating, disheartening, ... yada yada yada. The best way to explain it is to say that, on a good day, it feels like lactic acid has built up in my inner thigh/groin and the outside of my hip. On a bad day, it just depends. It's been so bad sometimes that I am unable to walk, lift my leg, or do anything putting pressure on the hip. Other times, it may just be certain positions that hurt, but walking is okay. Really, the unpredictability is a big part of the burden. While discussing my options for birthright trips I might take this summer, the concept of an outdoors focus came up, and I immediately rejected the idea, mainly because I have no idea if my hip can handle that. These days, it has really been behaving itself. I worked out on Monday night, focusing my energy on a 5K on the elliptical and some arm exercises/lifts. I had originally intended to stay on the elliptical for a bit longer than a 5K, but I could kind of feel like my leg was going to hate me the following day...so I stopped. Sometimes, I wonder if I stop myself short because I'm listening to my body or because I'm listening to my brain. It's hard, at this point, to tell whether my physical limitations are causing me to be reasonably cautious OR whether my mentality is causing me to be overly fearful of what I will feel like post-exercise if I continue. In any case, I'm trying to keep my head in the game and to take baby steps toward recovery. This week has truly been a good one, and I hope to go back to the gym tomorrow. Gotta get in shape for all of the trips I'm planning on taking this year.

That's all for now.

Besito,
A