The new semester has begun, and, with it, I have found a new kind of optimism. I'm still not sure if/when my hip will get back into working condition, but I am of the mindset that have a lot to be happy about these days. To some degree, that feeling started when I attended my first ever professional hockey game with my brother. There's something about the way our friendship has progressed that always puts me in a good mood and lifts my spirits. That night, despite my pain, I had an amazing time. The feeling carried me through the next day and was reinvigorated when I went to Shabbat at Rabbi Garfinkel's house, followed by hanging out with some friends. Those events put me on an emotional and spiritual high that has carried me through this week, which has been full of meetings upon more meetings upon...well, you get the idea. Despite the late nights followed by early mornings, I have the kind of energy that I got last semester from running. I have used that energy to restart my weightloss journey, and I am proud to report that I've lost 3lbs since Tuesday. While 3lbs in 4 days is too rapid to be sustainable, I can assure you all that it has been done through eating healthy, and I am positive that this rate of weightloss will not continue. I think my body is just excited to be back on track, heading in the right direction for the first time in a while. I'm excited for what this semester has to bring, even if it means living despite the daily aches and pains. :)
Besito,
A
Friday, January 20, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
"One day, One day...I know some day it'll all turn around"
This week has, like many of the recent ones, been filled with high highs and a few remarkable lows. For the most part, my spirits are really high. I've spent so much time with friends and family that it makes it hard to not feel good. Nevertheless, being in the city this week for an intersession class means that I've done lots of walking, which translates into pain. :/ The first few days of steroids made my hips feel really good, but they don't seem to be working now that my dosage is not as strong. In addition, the most recent finding is that I do not have inflammation of the sacrum / sacral joint. So, in many ways, I'm back to where I started this break, but, in many ways, things have changed. I've taken the time to stop and enjoy the moment, to live despite the pain that plagues me day in and day out. My friend RG tonight put it best when he said, "You just seem at peace with yourself and with life." As much as I hope that one day this condition will be fully treated or just disappear on its own, I also feel that this experience has taught me a lot about myself and helped me to appreciate the little things. For the moment, I remain optimistic that someone can figure out what is actually going on with me, but, until then, I'll just try to keep my head up and wait for the day...
Besito,
A
Besito,
A
Sunday, January 8, 2012
"I Want You to Take Over Control"
As I write this post, I'm feeling inspired, touched, energized, and refreshed. The past few days have been filled with visits to friends, tons of catching up, and, you guessed it, another doctor's appointment. This time, my rheumatologist concluded, on the basis of my blood tests, that I have significant inflammation but do not have a textbook case of arthritis. Of course, I was thrilled to hear that. I was also relieved when she told me that she was truly committed to getting me back into a position to be able to run again. She really connected with me in that way. While I respect the orthopedic surgeon's conclusion and his belief that strengthening the area might be enough, I really wasn't satisfied--something I expressed in no uncertain terms to my rheumatologist. My rheumatologist stated that she believed that my inflammation was more severe than that which you would expect if my pain were caused by a potential labral tear. To that end, she believes that the inflammation is related to the sacral joint (aka sacrum), but, to be sure, she needed another MRI (my second in two days)--which I did immediately after our appointment. In the meantime, she prescribed six days of oral steroids and suggested that this may take away the pain permanently--though there's no predicting whether that will occur. For the moment, however, I feel amazing. I'm not sure if this feeling is attributable to the steroids, enthusiasm from my doctor's enthusiasm, or what, but I feel different than I have these past few weeks. As many of you know, this hasn't been the most fun winter break that I've had, given all of the running around that is both physically and emotionally taxing and hasn't really yielded much in the way of results. Nevertheless, I am reinvigorated for the moment and am hopeful that this is the beginning of something good.
In addition to the positive energy generated from within and from my doctor, my friends have been incredibly supportive over these past few weeks. It has been pleasantly surprising to see how many people care and how much they care about my physical well-being. Whether through phone calls, texts, or in-person conversations, some people have gone above and beyond to send me the message that they are on my team. I know that this stuff isn't entirely news to all of you, as I have mentioned it in the past, but, with each rekindled friendship or moments spent with people with whom I am already quite close, I feel a bit stronger. I am very much looking forward to resuming life as normal, but, until then, I'll remain content with the fact that I'm blessed to be surrounded by such great family and friends.
Random note: I'm suddenly able to cross my right leg over my left knee--something I haven't been able to do since the symptoms first appeared on August 5. Each little step is a piece of the puzzle. :)
Besito,
A
In addition to the positive energy generated from within and from my doctor, my friends have been incredibly supportive over these past few weeks. It has been pleasantly surprising to see how many people care and how much they care about my physical well-being. Whether through phone calls, texts, or in-person conversations, some people have gone above and beyond to send me the message that they are on my team. I know that this stuff isn't entirely news to all of you, as I have mentioned it in the past, but, with each rekindled friendship or moments spent with people with whom I am already quite close, I feel a bit stronger. I am very much looking forward to resuming life as normal, but, until then, I'll remain content with the fact that I'm blessed to be surrounded by such great family and friends.
Random note: I'm suddenly able to cross my right leg over my left knee--something I haven't been able to do since the symptoms first appeared on August 5. Each little step is a piece of the puzzle. :)
Besito,
A
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
"Let's have a celebration"
Today is a very important day. It's not my birthday, and to anyone else January 3 is just like any other day. For me, however, today marks the anniversary of the day I began my weight-loss journey. Looking back, I can hardly remember what I was like back then. I remember reaching the breaking point and deciding on January 3rd that I was going to start doing things differently. Much to my surprise, it worked. Sure, as you all have read, I have had my ups and downs, my challenges and triumphs, but this journey has been worth it. I don't have my scale at home with me, but I would guess, based off of my last weigh-in, that I have managed to keep off about 23 out of all the pounds I lost. While the weight I have lost and managed to keep off is a source of great pride, I know that there are things that I need to work on and a lot of obstacles in front of me. In large part, these obstacles relate to getting back at it. I have another 20-30lbs to lose, which is daunting mainly because of my hip issues. Nevertheless, I've decided to stop excusing myself from all physical activity. Although my pain is very real and very difficult to manage, there ARE exercises that I can do without pain. My doctor said that the only exercise I absolutely must avoid are martial arts and running, and I can run, according to him, "if my mental sanity requires it." Spoken like a true runner! Respecting doctor's orders, I went on the elliptical Saturday afternoon and ran a 5K. Not only did I finish a full 5K without stopping, but I did it in record time. Now, I realize that running a 5K on a track/outside is dramatically different than running on an elliptical, but I'm going to challenge myself on the elliptical the same way I did when I started to run--pushing myself to go further and faster. I don't anticipate that I will get the same kind of runner's high that I got from regular running, but I am trying to pump myself up nonetheless. Of course, this also means that my blog will hopefully return to the kinds of topics I focused on in 2011.
Make no mistake, the above is not a resolution. Why not? I read an article my friend posted on her facebook wall that discussed the ways in which resolutions are pointless. I couldn't agree more. Most of our NYE resolutions are unrealistic and cause us to believe in an all-or-nothing mentality. If I learned anything from my 2011 journey, weight-loss isn't something that happens overnight. It is an extremely frustrating experience, but it is also very worthwhile. It is full of moments when you question what the point of it all is and whether you will ever achieve your goals. Which brings me to my point...the above is a goal that will contribute to a habit that will transform the rest of my life. Eating healthy and working out are not temporary things and do not happen quickly. They must become ways of life. The past few days and weeks notwithstanding, they remain part of my life even in my darkest moments (esp. when dealing with my hip). Whether they are made manifest in my refusing a cookie or leaving a few extra nibbles from my meal, I am conscious of the food that I am using to fuel my body and propel it into motion. That being said, I can and will be more attentive to this in the future because that is important if I am going to lose the 20-30lbs that still elude me.
I look forward to everything 2012 holds for me, especially on this anniversary. On that note, I raise a glass of soda water and toast to those of you who have followed me throughout this journey. To another year together!
Besito,
A
Make no mistake, the above is not a resolution. Why not? I read an article my friend posted on her facebook wall that discussed the ways in which resolutions are pointless. I couldn't agree more. Most of our NYE resolutions are unrealistic and cause us to believe in an all-or-nothing mentality. If I learned anything from my 2011 journey, weight-loss isn't something that happens overnight. It is an extremely frustrating experience, but it is also very worthwhile. It is full of moments when you question what the point of it all is and whether you will ever achieve your goals. Which brings me to my point...the above is a goal that will contribute to a habit that will transform the rest of my life. Eating healthy and working out are not temporary things and do not happen quickly. They must become ways of life. The past few days and weeks notwithstanding, they remain part of my life even in my darkest moments (esp. when dealing with my hip). Whether they are made manifest in my refusing a cookie or leaving a few extra nibbles from my meal, I am conscious of the food that I am using to fuel my body and propel it into motion. That being said, I can and will be more attentive to this in the future because that is important if I am going to lose the 20-30lbs that still elude me.
I look forward to everything 2012 holds for me, especially on this anniversary. On that note, I raise a glass of soda water and toast to those of you who have followed me throughout this journey. To another year together!
Besito,
A
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