"Settle down, it'll all be clear. Don't pay no mind to the demons..."

They fill you with fear.

As many of you know from talking to me, so much has happened recently.  Even as a list, it looks ridiculous, and a list could not possibly capture everything.  Nevertheless, since graduating from law school in early May, I have done the following:

1. Moved from my apartment in Savoy to a friend's apartment
2. Studied for the bar
3. Taken the bar
4. Moved from my friend's apartment to my parents' house
5. Toured NYC with my mom
6. Gone on Birthright (10 days in Israel)
7. Attended a law school friend's wedding in San Francisco
8. Did a public interest law fellowship, working with low-income clients.
9. Had surgery
10. Searched and ultimately found an apartment in Chicago
11. Shopped for things to fill #10
12. Continued to recover (this means: physical therapy twice a week, biking two hours a day, stretches, and follow-up visits to the surgeon and a rheumatologist)

The stuff above is both exciting and exhausting. It also means that pretty much everything has been a blur.  This surgery has given me a lot of time to slow down and relax a little while catching up with friends and family.  For that, I'm incredibly grateful.  I truly don't know when I'll ever have time like this again after I start my job.  Don't get me wrong...I am very excited to start my job.  Nevertheless, I'm trying to make the most of these last few weeks, including my upcoming vacation to Riviera Maya.  I can't wait to sit on a beach and just relax with VS.  Should be pretty great.

Still, I remain concerned, as the title of this post suggests, about my post-op condition.  It's really hard to say whether I am getting better or staying the same or, G-d forbid, feeling worse.  At this point, I'm walking without a crutch and/or a brace, but it is somewhat painful.  I can't tell whether any of this is normal or, if not, what it means.  I've seen a rheumatologist about the inflammation they found in my tissue during surgery, and, despite all of the blood work and a chest x-ray, they still don't know what's going on with me.  For the moment, the diagnosis is inflammatory arthritis, which means nothing.  It just says that I have inflammation in my blood without any other explanation--no lupus or osteo/rheumatoid arthritis.  The doctor said that this is a good thing in the long run, but it also means that the treatment could be hit or miss since it's not a textbook case of anything.  Oh goodie.  Still, I'm trying to stay positive.  I'm doing everything I can to make sure that this surgery is successful.  I just hope it's enough...

As I said, I'm tired.

Besito,
A

"Something Good This Way Comes"

Post-op day 9.  Good news...I have just returned from my post-op appointment, and I have been instructed to wean myself off the crutches and lose the brace by Wednesday (two weeks post-op).  I am also no longer required to cover the incision spots (three one-cm slits).  I am very thrilled to be making this kind of progress.  Of course, it remains to be seen what will happen with the inflammation they found and whether I am fully better post-op than pre-surgery.  I truly hope that this is the beginning of something really good, not just a temporary jump in my subjective sense of things.  In any case, just wanted to share the good news.

More updates soon, hopefully.

Besito,
A

"I'm Walking on Sunshine, Woooooo, and Don't it Feel Good."

As I write this, I am four days post-op and doing great.  Before surgery, I went through the usual shenanigans of waiting followed by insertion of an iv (so much fun, obvi) and then being anesthetized.  The last thing I remember is being asked if I was okay--a question I don't believe I ever answered.  Next thing I knew, I woke up feeling cold and shaking.  I told the nurse that, and she gave me something that made me feel fantastic along with a graham cracker.  Being the silly person I am, I asked her if she could make it a s'more, and she said they didn't have any chocolate or marshmallows. I pushed her on that but was still denied.  After an even longer wait than before surgery, I was released to go home.

Since then, each day has gotten better and better.  I'm now going up and down the stairs with relative ease, and I have not taken a painkiller since post-op day 2.  At this point, the brace and crutches seem superfluous, and my leg feels like I could bear a lot more weight than the 20lbs I am allowed to put on it.  Nevertheless, I am listening to the Dr.'s orders and following his every instruction.  The dressings on my incisions have been taken off, and they look like they are healing well.

In the meantime, I am spending a lot of time stretching, icing, and watching T.V. between visits with friends.  The balloons, cards, crepes, helping hands, and kind words have made this experience so much more bearable than I had anticipated.  As I've said time and time again, I am so very lucky to be surrounded by such wonderful, supportive people.  I hope the next 10 days fly by as quickly as the past four--at that time, I will hopefully be cleared to walk without crutches and without my brace.  Here's hoping.

Besito,
A

"Live like a warrior"

On this night before my surgery, I can't help but think that a blog post is necessary.  In the past few weeks, I have really been living the dream.  After moving out of Champaign, I spent three days in New York City with my mom.  We did many things, but the highlights were:

1. Eating at Katz's deli (where the famous scene from When Harry Met Sally was filmed)

2. Visiting the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island

3.  Sex and the City Tour

At Buddakan - where the rehearsal dinner in the SATC movie was filmed

4. Seeing 5,000 Chase locations

5. Laughing hysterically during The Book of Mormon.  To all the Chicagoans, you owe it to yourself to see the play when it comes to town.

After my mommy-daughter weekend, I headed off to Israel on Birthright with a high school friend.  It was, to say the least, an AMAZZZZINNNGGG experience.  I met some really incredible people and saw a ton of things.  From the brief visit to Tzfat (Safed) to Jerusalem to the Kibbutzim to the four hikes, it was a truly beautiful experience.  Given my hip condition, I would never have chosen to do the hikes, but I am glad that I not only survived but enjoyed and succeeded at hiking.  

There were, of course, some not so great moments--e.g., my iPhone making aaliyah somewhere between Masada and the Dead Sea.  Nevertheless, it was eye-opening, inspiring, and emotional.  I really hope I get the chance to go back and see places we skipped because of time, especially Haifa and Eilat.

After some shenanigans and a cancelled flight, I made it back to Chicago almost ten days ago.  It's amazing how time has flown by since then.  Still, I kept myself busy.  I shopped a little for furniture for my new apartment, and I spent time dealing with my jetlag before heading to San Francisco for a friend's wedding.  While in the bay area, I walked and drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, visited the Picchetti Winery in Cupertino, and went out with people in San Jose. In a word, it was bliss. 

Now, back in Chicago again, I've managed to get my house in order just in time for tomorrow's surgery.  I've been asked by a bunch of you whether I am nervous and/or looking forward to the operation.  The only response I can come up with is that I'm ready.  Tomorrow marks 13 months of enduring the pain caused by this condition, and I'm ready to begin life again.  I'm ready to feel like me...a me I haven't felt like in a really long time.  So, I hope that this is the beginning of a string of positive posts about my recovery.  I am already so indebted to so many of you for all of the support you have given me, and I doubt I will be able to repay you.  Please accept my thanks and know how much it means to me.  Until I catch you on the other side...

Besito,

A