This week has probably been one of the most stressful of my academic career, which makes the fact that I ended up gaining a little this week not so big of a deal. I started the week down another 1.6 and ended the week up 0.4. In the scheme of things, it's not a big deal. I know that I need to keep my mind in the game and try not to gain during these next few days, since it's finals time. In order to remind myself of how far I've come, I looked up things that weigh 20lbs, and, ironically, what came up? A TIRE! I have lost a "spare tire," most of which came from my thighs and stomach. Crazy! I must say, the place where I notice it the most is in my upper arms. I've been taking pictures of my progress and noticed last night that my arms are so much more toned than they were in the same outfit in late December (before I started this journey). In any case, before I begin to dissect and analyze my progress, boring y'all to death, I'll just conclude that this process takes changes that occur one step at a time, and, while this week was a step backward, I know it's not the beginning of a trend in that direction. I'm still 20.6steps ahead and look forward to many more.
Besito,
A
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Cause for Celebration
As Passover and life without chametz is nearing its end and as my Christian friends celebrated Easter yesterday, the end of Lent, I am struck by the way in which we celebrate the end but often not the middle or the beginning of things. Of course, we do rejoice at the birth of a new baby, but we celebrate that event at the end of yet another year of life. Sure, we celebrate the New Year, but we are also celebrating the end of the previous year. In any case, you get my point, I hope. In the past day or so, I have spent a lot of time thinking about the way in which weight-loss has changed me, and I think a fair amount of it has to do with my mindset. As a general principle, I aim to focus on the beginning and the middle, recognizing that, for most of the things I am doing, there really is no exact end. While my weight loss will eventually come to an end, this journey is continuous. Since this is not a diet but, rather, a new "way of life," I am actually somewhat afraid of reaching my goal. I have enjoyed some incredible support from family, friends, and quasi-strangers (referring to those of you who are my friends on LoseIt), and I am worried about having a definitive end. It's probably premature for me to be thinking about this problem already, but I've found that a decent amount of my success can be attributed to planning ahead and mentally rehearsing for the things to come. When I step on the scale each time, I close my eyes and say a little prayer. Before I open my eyes, I remind myself to see the good that I have accomplished and to not be deterred by minor setbacks. It is for that reason that I haven't given up yet and will not quit until I am where I want to be. In preparation for the end of this particular portion of my journey, I have set my sights on several different running goals. I won't bore y'all to death by listing all of them, but I'm interested in:
1. Running a (half-)marathon
2. Running a mile in less than 9 minutes
3. Running an 8K in less than an hour
(among others).
Of course, such events will require me to purchase more workout clothing--which is the activity that has replaced my unconditional love for shopping for everyday items. Oh shucks!!! It's a difficult life, but someone has to do it. :)
In any case, I better get back to writing my paper. This week is a rather busy one with lots of burdensome tasks and exciting rewards. I am EXTREMELY excited to see my law school mentor/role model for life on Tuesday--she knows who she is. <3
Until then, un beso.
A
1. Running a (half-)marathon
2. Running a mile in less than 9 minutes
3. Running an 8K in less than an hour
(among others).
Of course, such events will require me to purchase more workout clothing--which is the activity that has replaced my unconditional love for shopping for everyday items. Oh shucks!!! It's a difficult life, but someone has to do it. :)
In any case, I better get back to writing my paper. This week is a rather busy one with lots of burdensome tasks and exciting rewards. I am EXTREMELY excited to see my law school mentor/role model for life on Tuesday--she knows who she is. <3
Until then, un beso.
A
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Halfway There: No Looking Back
I started my weight-loss journey on January 3, and today is April 23. So far, it's been 111 days or 9,590,400 minutes (roughly). It's hard for me to remember what it was like those first few days, both because of everything else going on and because of my desire to live in the moment. What I do remember quite well was looking at the scale in my bathroom and deciding that January 3 would be the first day of the rest of my life. "Fat Alyse," as I call her, would begin to disappear. While she had a nice sense of humor and a winning smile, her thinner counterpart was entirely hidden from the world. In fact, she had been hidden for so long that I barely remember what she looked like.
Now, nearly 4 months later, a lot has changed. Over Spring Break, a few weeks ago now, I tried on my Bat Mitzvah suit from when I was thirteen, and it fit. Granted, the slit was a bit higher than I remember, but, otherwise, it was wearable. Pretty crazy. However, that moment was rather interesting because a girl's Bat Mitzvah is said to be one of the biggest milestones in her life. Today, I am celebrating a different kind of milestone--I'm halfway to my weight-loss goal. I've lost 21lbs and am very proud of how far I've come. I am mindful of the fact that the road is still uphill, but I think I know what it takes.
Rather than droning on about myself or delving into other non-weight-loss topics, I want to leave you with a quote that someone shared with me from my weight-loss website:
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
Un Monton de Besos,
A
Now, nearly 4 months later, a lot has changed. Over Spring Break, a few weeks ago now, I tried on my Bat Mitzvah suit from when I was thirteen, and it fit. Granted, the slit was a bit higher than I remember, but, otherwise, it was wearable. Pretty crazy. However, that moment was rather interesting because a girl's Bat Mitzvah is said to be one of the biggest milestones in her life. Today, I am celebrating a different kind of milestone--I'm halfway to my weight-loss goal. I've lost 21lbs and am very proud of how far I've come. I am mindful of the fact that the road is still uphill, but I think I know what it takes.
Rather than droning on about myself or delving into other non-weight-loss topics, I want to leave you with a quote that someone shared with me from my weight-loss website:
"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."
Un Monton de Besos,
A
Monday, April 18, 2011
On Losing Weight During Passover - Freeing Myself From My Personal Slavery
I wasn't going to post again before Passover seder tonight, but an email from a rabbi in town has put me in a particularly analytical mood, which means that, if you're reading this, you'll have to bear with my ramblings on this topic.
In Rabbi Dovid's email, he discusses the importance of the phrase at the beginning of the Haggadah, inviting "[a]ll who are hungry, come and eat; all who are needy come and celebrate Passover." Although no one really expects the truly hungry to suddenly come rushing into their seders, the phrase is supposed to reign in the souls of those already present at the seder, helping them to concentrate on freeing themselves from their personal slavery. While we are no longer slaves in Egypt, we are still slaves to many things, including those on Rabbi Dovid's list (scars from the past that cripple us; fears that prevent us from opening our hearts; bad habits that waste our time and divert our energy; toxic relationships that we have become dependant on; negative attitudes that darken our vision; egotism and complacency that stunt our growth.) and many more. As a result, the invitation to the needy really means that we are inviting ourselves to come to the seder to experience freedom for the first time.
On this Passover, my favorite Jewish holiday, I will arrive at the Seder a very different person than I was last year. In addition to having lost 19.8lbs (as of this morning), I've grown spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. At this time last year, I was enslaved to unrequited feelings for another, jealousy, and other petty thoughts. More directly related to the Judaism (and our stereotypical love of bagels and shmear), I was enslaved to fulfilling myself with food instead of more meaningful "stuff." While I am by no means perfect and remain enslaved to many things, I am proud of the progress that I have made. The road ahead is long and winding, and I know that it won't be easy. Still, things seem to really be coming together, even despite the minor setbacks here and there. I have found fulfillment and meaning in new friendships, new passions and areas of interest, and in myself.
I can't wait to see how I feel a year from now. I raise a glass to pursuing freedom.
Un Besito Grandote,
A
In Rabbi Dovid's email, he discusses the importance of the phrase at the beginning of the Haggadah, inviting "[a]ll who are hungry, come and eat; all who are needy come and celebrate Passover." Although no one really expects the truly hungry to suddenly come rushing into their seders, the phrase is supposed to reign in the souls of those already present at the seder, helping them to concentrate on freeing themselves from their personal slavery. While we are no longer slaves in Egypt, we are still slaves to many things, including those on Rabbi Dovid's list (scars from the past that cripple us; fears that prevent us from opening our hearts; bad habits that waste our time and divert our energy; toxic relationships that we have become dependant on; negative attitudes that darken our vision; egotism and complacency that stunt our growth.) and many more. As a result, the invitation to the needy really means that we are inviting ourselves to come to the seder to experience freedom for the first time.
On this Passover, my favorite Jewish holiday, I will arrive at the Seder a very different person than I was last year. In addition to having lost 19.8lbs (as of this morning), I've grown spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. At this time last year, I was enslaved to unrequited feelings for another, jealousy, and other petty thoughts. More directly related to the Judaism (and our stereotypical love of bagels and shmear), I was enslaved to fulfilling myself with food instead of more meaningful "stuff." While I am by no means perfect and remain enslaved to many things, I am proud of the progress that I have made. The road ahead is long and winding, and I know that it won't be easy. Still, things seem to really be coming together, even despite the minor setbacks here and there. I have found fulfillment and meaning in new friendships, new passions and areas of interest, and in myself.
I can't wait to see how I feel a year from now. I raise a glass to pursuing freedom.
Un Besito Grandote,
A
Friday, April 15, 2011
"And I'll find strength in pain..."
Hey All,
Just thought I'd post a quick update before Shabbat, not that there's even that much that has changed since my last post. However, as Passover, one of the more important Jewish holidays, approaches and in the shadow of Purim, I am reminded of the extent to which Jews find their greatest strength in times of adversity. With my growing love for the gym, it has become difficult to not go on a daily basis. However, since finals are approaching, I'm trying really hard to figure out how to have a more flexible attitude toward working out, recognizing that it's not an all-or-nothing principle. I'm really looking forward to my workout tomorrow - going to run outside, weather-permitting, followed by a quick swim at ARC, just to switch things up a bit.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week.
Besito,
A
Just thought I'd post a quick update before Shabbat, not that there's even that much that has changed since my last post. However, as Passover, one of the more important Jewish holidays, approaches and in the shadow of Purim, I am reminded of the extent to which Jews find their greatest strength in times of adversity. With my growing love for the gym, it has become difficult to not go on a daily basis. However, since finals are approaching, I'm trying really hard to figure out how to have a more flexible attitude toward working out, recognizing that it's not an all-or-nothing principle. I'm really looking forward to my workout tomorrow - going to run outside, weather-permitting, followed by a quick swim at ARC, just to switch things up a bit.
Anyway, I hope everyone is having a great week.
Besito,
A
Monday, April 11, 2011
"You are not invited to the other side of sanity..."
Today is the first entry in a while in which I won't be discussing the amount of weight I've lost. I haven't weighed myself since sometime last week, and I'm feeling both insane and happier at the same time. The end of last week was a bit crazy because of an M&A assignment that was due on Friday coupled with the fact that I was heading to Chicago after classes on Friday afternoon, which meant that weighing myself was the last thing on my mind. As I drove to West Rogers Park for my Maimonides Shabbaton, I rocked out to my music, screaming it at the top of my lungs. None of you should laugh - I'm sure y'all do the same thing; you just don't tell people about it on your blog. :) I say, NO GUTS, NO GLORY! Anyway, after many rounds of Kesha, Britney, Katy Perry, and Rihanna, among others, I somehow arrived in West Rogers Park after a short 2.5 hours. Although I always enjoy Shabbat, this particular Shabbat was very moving for me. Rather than focusing on the hunger in my stomach or the craziness that is my daily existence, I really entered a state of extreme self-inspection, thinking only about what I was doing at that very moment and about the people around me. It was incredible to, almost in the snap of my fingers, forget about everything not physically in front of me or unrelated to Shabbat...at least, until I went to sleep that night.
I spent almost all of Saturday celebrating the upcoming nuptials of my close family friend, Ashley. My mom and a few other hostesses threw a beautiful bridal shower in her honor and her friends organized a fun, entertaining, and elegant bachelorette party at night - including a fantastic drag show at Baton! One of the cross-dressers did an amazing dance to E.T. by Katy Perry, which I continue to think about as I've now listened to the song twenty times on my computer, according to iTunes. Yikes!!!
After getting home around 2am from the bachelorette party, I spent most of the morning catching up on my sleep before heading to my Maimonides graduation. At the ceremony, I was given the honor of speaking to my peers, and, despite my public speaking background, I choked up. I started to feel the tears coming out of my eyes and the blood rushing to my face. I'm still not sure what caused me to be so incredibly emotional, other than perhaps the great power and mysterious ways of Hashem. The fascinating thing is that I still am feeling quite emotional, as though I'm ready to break out into a random dance or cry at any moment. Kinda nuts. Overall, however, I've been much happier since graduation than I was in the weeks and months leading up to it. Wherever this feeling comes from, I'm happy to hold onto it for as long as possible.
In any case, I guess I ought to get back to that silly obligation called studying. :(
Will write soon!
Besito,
A
I spent almost all of Saturday celebrating the upcoming nuptials of my close family friend, Ashley. My mom and a few other hostesses threw a beautiful bridal shower in her honor and her friends organized a fun, entertaining, and elegant bachelorette party at night - including a fantastic drag show at Baton! One of the cross-dressers did an amazing dance to E.T. by Katy Perry, which I continue to think about as I've now listened to the song twenty times on my computer, according to iTunes. Yikes!!!
After getting home around 2am from the bachelorette party, I spent most of the morning catching up on my sleep before heading to my Maimonides graduation. At the ceremony, I was given the honor of speaking to my peers, and, despite my public speaking background, I choked up. I started to feel the tears coming out of my eyes and the blood rushing to my face. I'm still not sure what caused me to be so incredibly emotional, other than perhaps the great power and mysterious ways of Hashem. The fascinating thing is that I still am feeling quite emotional, as though I'm ready to break out into a random dance or cry at any moment. Kinda nuts. Overall, however, I've been much happier since graduation than I was in the weeks and months leading up to it. Wherever this feeling comes from, I'm happy to hold onto it for as long as possible.
In any case, I guess I ought to get back to that silly obligation called studying. :(
Will write soon!
Besito,
A
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Getting there...
Sorry for the long delay in updating, but, unfortunately, there hasn't been much about which to update. For several weeks now, I've not lost much weight (down 16.2lbs in total), although my mom assures me that I am losing inches. It's frustrating to not have much in the way of quantitative verification of my achievements, but I do realize that this process is about much more than numbers on a scale. There are other quantitative and qualitative changes that are going on in my body - my body fat is decreasing, my heart is not working as hard, and I am also able to run much faster. The latter is very clearly apparent. I started this process running a 15minute mile, and my best mile thus far has been 9:20. I also find that running the bases in softball doesn't leave me winded anymore, and both my hitting and throwing have improved, likely because of the arm and strength training exercises I have been doing. Although I am proud of these accomplishments and the kind words from friends and family help me to keep on going when I question what the point is (YES, KEEP THEM COMING!), I am excited about something else this week...
A friend of mine from the law school, who happens to be sitting across from me right now, has started going to the gym with me. She is simply amazing! On her first days in the gym, she worked harder than I did during my first month, and I know that she is already on her way toward great things, especially in the area of her fitness. I am personally very excited for her because she was inspired by my journey and decided that she wanted to both be a part of it and to have her own. Doing this together, even if only sporadically, brings me tremendous joy. In this way, my journey transcends the bounds of my own body, and I hope that others will join us in our quest for well-being - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Here's to us!
(Sorry if that was self-indulgent, but I'm just so excited for my new exercise buddy - she knows who she is :) ).
Besito,
A
A friend of mine from the law school, who happens to be sitting across from me right now, has started going to the gym with me. She is simply amazing! On her first days in the gym, she worked harder than I did during my first month, and I know that she is already on her way toward great things, especially in the area of her fitness. I am personally very excited for her because she was inspired by my journey and decided that she wanted to both be a part of it and to have her own. Doing this together, even if only sporadically, brings me tremendous joy. In this way, my journey transcends the bounds of my own body, and I hope that others will join us in our quest for well-being - physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Here's to us!
(Sorry if that was self-indulgent, but I'm just so excited for my new exercise buddy - she knows who she is :) ).
Besito,
A
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